Our intent and our impact are not always the same thing.
We may have good intentions, and these can lead to positive impacts, but not always.
Even with good intentions, we may cause harm, sometimes unknowingly or unaware to what extent. Regardless of our intentions and impact awareness level, we must own and be accountable for our impacts.
The thing is, if someone has caused harm, it may not be the most helpful to talk to them about their intentions. If you tell someone what they intended to do, they’re likely to get defensive and you might have made a faulty assumption about their intent for them.
Instead, when someone causes harm, talk to them about their impacts. Shining a light on these can help the other person to more readily take ownership and accountability.
When you frame the conversation around impacts, you’re creating a valuable opportunity for understanding and visibility to these and to the potential mismatch with intentions. You’re opening the door to learning and growth.
And if you’re going to make any assumptions about intent, assume the best. It may help bring out the best in the other person.
