When we’re in conflict with someone else, we tend to zoom in.
We put everything they do and don’t do under a microscope so we can examine every detail through our own lens, narrative, and beliefs: what they say and don’t say, their tone, their body language, their actions, and more.
This choice to zoom in typically leads to misunderstanding, judgment, disconnection, and conflict escalation.
If our goal is to better serve the relationship, the more useful approach is to zoom out instead.
We can choose to open up our aperture, let more light in, look at the macro and get curious about the other person’s context, perspective, and narrative: what might be their values, beliefs, intentions, motivations, concerns, fears, boundaries, constraints, and aspirations?
This choice to zoom out typically leads to understanding, empathy, connection, and conflict de-escalation.
